Anger

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ANGER

Handling anger constructively is no small feet. As emotions go, anger is pretty intense. Situations that ignite anger-being blamed for something that's not your fault, for example, or being lied to-trigger the flight or flight response, a complex reaction to stress that results in a release od adrenaline, increased heartbeat and other physiologial reactions. When angered, our bodies are primed to either duke it out or run for our lives.

Here's what to do?

First, do nothing

If you don't feel as effective at diffusing anger as you would like, stop the moment that you feel your pulse quicken with anger, and do nothing until you've had some time to think.

Admit that you're angry

Don't bottle up your anger, you'll feel resentful.Don't blow up, either. That usually escalates tension and leads to more anger.

Leave the scene, mentally or physically

If you overhead your co-workers saying something nasty about you in the cafeteria, head for the women's room or the parking lot for a few minutes. If your boss criticizes you in the middle of a meeting-when you can't very well get up and leave-envision yourself leaving the room for a calmer setting.

Get perspective

Ask yourself exactly what made you angry. Consider the other person's intentions what extraneous variables might have figured into the situation at hand and what your contribution may have been. This alone may diffuse your anger.

Speak up

After you've taken some time to get some perspective, talk it out. Avoid statements like"You made me angry".Blaming remarks like this put the other person on the defensive which only makes resolution more difficult.